34 months! That was our final breastfeeding date. I made a plan to make it 3 weeks. We made it 34 months! Do you know what that means? We made it past most people's comfort zone. 2 months shy of 3 years is a long time! Woohoo! We survived custody issues and many nights away from each other, but we made it!

Know what else we survived? My leaving law enforcement. I said that having the munchkin wouldn't change me and I made a point for it to not be so. It didn't happen. I wanted to help everyone. Even in the schools, I wanted to take every kid home.

I went back to patrol. The first dead person made me question everything. I was no longer the hard core patrol officer I once was. I was a mom. I cried for the family. I cried knowing the deceased wouldn't affect another life. I cried. I picked up my kiddo and tried to be happy, but I cried. I got mad at her because I had a crappy day and she didn't understand why. I cried more. I realized the reason wasn't she or I. It was the job. At that point, I decided it was time to walk away.

 KH is my life, and the person my job made me was not the person I wanted her to know. I know this blog was about breastfeeding cops and the support that goes along with it, but I realized there was so much more. I don't discourage moms from being Police Officers. I'm very proud of the profession I chose and the lives I impacted. I fully support mommy Police Officers and think about you every day.  I simply couldn't do it anymore.

It took me 6 months after leaving the job to not see a dead person when I closed my eyes at night. I fully support Police Officers and will to the day I die. Why? Because I was one. I loved my job. When it got to the point it effected my family, I walked away. So here is my final blog post. I have a happy, healthy life. I love my daughter. I'm jaded at times, but I'm good now. I fully support public servants in every field. Police, Fire, EMT, military, volunteers... We are one in the same. If you find yourself in a not-so-fun situation, message me. I'll even give you my number so we can talk. We are a brother/sisterhood and we stand by each other!

Until next time...

It's been 5 months since my last post. Life on the breastfeeding end, and the work end, have been easy. Thanks to my custody agreement, KH spends a night a week away from me. She asks for her "booboos" regularly. I've had to pick and choose when I allow her to breastfeed. Without a doubt, when she wakes up and when she goes to bed are 2 times that are a given. The other times I breastfeed her are when I pick her up from the sitter after being away from me overnight, when she doesn't feel well, and some naptimes when I need to calm her down to go to sleep. There have been a few random fever days where she asks to breastfeed 4-5 times a day. Obviously the health benefits are greater than the idea of weaning so I let her do it. At this point, she's 26 months. I know she needs to wean at some point, but I don't know when that will be.

We're potty training now which is going very well. We also spend a lot of time outside playing.

She had a stomach bug recently and vomitted everything she ate for dinner. She asked for her boobies and I told her no. Her stomach was sour so I didn't want to throw milk on it. I told her we could rock instead and, within 3 minutes, she was out cold! It was sad, because we nurse before bed. That was the first time I got her to sleep without it.

Potty training also adds to my thought that she's getting older. I don't want my baby to grow up! Yet, it's part of the process. She's 26 months and in the 95th and 96th percentile in height and weight. She's big for her age and a lot of people mistake her for someone older. She nurses for nutrition and comfort. Recently, I believe it's more for comfort. It's an opportunity for she and I to be as close as mommy and baby can be. Hopefully soon I'll be able to write a post on how to wean. Well, soon-ish. It will happen when it does. I'll let you know!

Until next time!

Weight gain and breastfeeding

I read an interesting post on our local La Lehe League Facebook page that lead to this discussion: gaining weight while breastfeeding. Everything you read says breastfeeding will melt the pounds off of you and get rid of your pregnancy weight. Did that happen to me? Um, no. We're almost 22 months in with breastfeeding. I left the hospital at 152 pounds, my pre-pregnancy weight. I started a weight loss challenge with my department 2.5 weeks ago. My initial weight was 180. Almost 30 pounds heavier! As a Police Officer, physical fitness is a priority. So what happens when you gain so much weight instead of losing it, and why?

The post was filled with moms who had the same experience as me. Weight gain. Lots of it! I read an article that said your body stores up fat to be able to provide for breastmilk. Okay, that makes sense. When KH was younger, I remember feeling ravished all the time. All. The. Time! I couldn't eat enough calories to make her or me happy. I ate anything and everything I could because I had to. I would shake from hunger on a regular basis. I found myself eating things with sugar in them because I knew I would get instant gratification and it would hold me over for a few minutes.

In the weight loss challenge, I'm down almost 10 pounds. I decided to do a combination of the paleo and whole 30 programs. Why do I think this is important? Both of the programs are artificial sugar free and involve eating fresh foods. I've learned that I eat less and am hungry less often. It has caused my body to require less food in meeting the nutritional requirements. Win! I've also drank a lot more water. Several times I have scarfed down a normal portion and still felt hungry. The kid wouldn't allow for me to get another plate so I would drink a glass of water and take care of her. I knew I could always eat after. Funny thing, after a few minutes, I was full. A lot of times hunger pangs are associated with dehydration. It's not always the case, but I've noticed a big change in myself.

I'm happy with my success but know there's no way I would have had the time for the meal preparations I'm doing now in my early parenting stages. No way at all. In fact, I barely had the chance to heat up a can of ravioli!

So... What are y'all's experiences? I'm curious to know. I'm on birth control so I wonder if hormones are a factor. That's the only thing different in my life. It's at least something to think about. Let me know if anyone has any ideas or similarities!

Until next time!

What's the one thing every female cop loves the most about summer patrols? The vest! It's so cozy, comforting, and breathes extremely well, right? Clearly you understand the sarcasm in that statement... I went back to patrol over the summer and back to the 12 hour shifts. Texas is known for it's cool temps and low humidity during the summer months. No. Not ever. EVER! This summer was absolutely brutal! We had above average rain before the summer hit so the humidity was absolutely horrific. The temperatures in my area hit the 100s for the first time in almost 2 years. What does that mean? Sweat. All day. Before the sun came up, the humidity was at high percentages. It wasn't unusual to wake up to temperatures in the high 70's with "feel like" temperatures in the high 80's and 90's. I started my shift at 7 am. I started sweating around 7:01 am. My shift ended at 7 pm. That means I stopped sweating for the day at approximately 8 pm. Do the math. That's 12 hours and 59 minutes of constant sweating!

What does that mean? A lot! #1: Everyone knows you need to stay hydrated to keep producing breastmilk. I drank water. Water. Water. And more water. There were times I felt I was going to float out of my car and into traffic. However, I sweat so much, I only peed 3-4 times in 12 hours. Do the math. That's not a lot. Since I was 18-19 months in, I decided to pump once during shift. During my 8 hour shifts, I gave up on pumping. 12 hours was too long. I decided 2 pm would be my lunch/pump time. I pumped anywhere from 2.5-4.5 ounces, depending on my hydration level. I say that to reiterate the fact that breastmilk highly relies on hydration. If you're breastfeeding your baby, DRINK WATER!

My other problem I had is one that's gross. At least it was gross to me. After the first week on patrol, I developed a rash. I though it was a heat rash so I brushed it out of my mind. I would clean it more, try to keep it cool/dry whenever possible, etc.  I tried Aquaphor, Gold Bond cream, and baby powder to dry it up. Nothing worked. I didn't seek medical help because it only bothered me when KH scratched it. When that happened, holy shit! I decided after a month and a half of the persistence that I would go see a doc. The diagnosis: fungal infection. Gross. Seriously? I thought it was heat rash? Apparently the heat, humidity, and closed vest with no air movement was the perfect environment for that fungus to grow. Gross. I shutter still, just thinking about it! I got on an antifungal prescription and it cleared up in no time. It's still gross, though. Bleh!

KH is now coming up on 20 months old. She still loves boobs. I can't pick her up after work and get into the truck without her feeding. If I try to put her straight into her carseat she screams. Loudly. With real tears. I love that she enjoys it and knows it's our time. I'm trying to think about how we will eventually wean from that. I'm back on my 8 hour schedule so life can resume it's normalcy. The long 12 hour days suck for a kid. I can't say that enough! I've been on 8 hour shifts for 2 days and she's already happier and more fun to be around. I can't wait to see what lies ahead for she and I!!

That's all I've got for y'all tonight. Until next time!

Howdy breastfeeders, single parents, cops, or random person who has stumbled upon my blog. I write to you today to tell you a fun fact. KH has officially received tooth #7 at 17 months!!!

Wait. What? Why is that important? Most kids have way more teeth at this point in the game. Yes, that's very true. My kid is a late bloomer. The significance of this isn't the time frame. The significance is the teeth marks engrained on my nipple. Yeah, you read that right.

One day, breastfeeding was the same random fun it always was: acrobatics, abuse (slapping, punching, teeth grabbing), movement (arm rolls, ab strengthening, and more punching), and the loving part of 4 seconds of eye contact. The next day, I had a 7th tooth popping through the surface and an undeniable pain. I originally thought it was her fingernails as she has a habit of grabbing my boob while eating. Then, after cutting her individual daggers and removing them from my skin, I realized it was teeth.

When I mentioned my pain, people referred to it as biting. It's not at all! KH has done a lot of not-so-nice things in our breastfeeding journey. I've felt a bite or two. Trust me, there's no, "Was that a bite?" moment when it comes to breastfeeding. In our current situation, it's obviously not an intentional bite. What it is, is a.... I really don't know. Maybe a comfort thing?

When I started feeling teeth, I did like I'd always done and figured out how to fix the problem! I noticed it hurt like hell to feed her the normal side lie way.  I held her upright against my shoulder while I rocked her. No teeth. No pain. It was always painful on the left side, never the right. I noticed a small sore on my nipple which was causing the continued pain. I let it airdry after feeds, then expressed a little more milk to rub on it. It's healing quickly and healing well.

So that's our current hurdle. Like everything else, it's a small one and we'll get through it. Until next time!

Who Knew?

This post isn't specifically breastfeeding related.  Sorry, yet not sorry.  This post is all about the unsolicited advice about sleeping that everyone feels you need.  Boom! I got your attention back :-)  The biggest question, from the day I left the hospital, was, "How does she sleep?"  My response, every time, is that she is up every 2-3 hours.  Response from said person who asked the question, "You should add cereal to the bottle, add an extra feed at night, read this book, let her cry...." I lo(athed)ved hearing that question.  Every parent has a different parenting style. Mine is very pro-baby.  If she cries, I figure out why.  For a breastfed baby, it's common for them to wake up more regularly.  Breastmilk leaves the body quicker because it's easier to digest. Therefore, breastfed babies tend to wake up more in the middle of the night.  Cool.  I get it.  I know that.  I made the choice to breastfeed and wake up every 2-3 hours with my kiddo.  I understand. The major question is... Why can't everyone else?

Why is it that the most important question to a mom with a baby is, "How much does he/she sleep?" Why can't it be, "What is your baby doing developmentally?" That is so much more encompassing than sleep.  Who cares how much mom sleeps?  As long as baby is happy, healthy, and having a good time, it's no big deal.  I made the decision, as a single mom, to make the breastfeeding journey.  If I had a question, I asked.  If I wanted advice, I asked.  I was determined that my kid and I would eventually be on the same sleeping schedule and I would not push the issue.  Guess what?  It happened!

Today, KH is 15 months and some change on the weeks.  AKA, she's almost 16 months.  Guess what?  She sleeps through the night! How long has that been happening consistently?  2 weeks.  2. 2 weeks.  You read it right.  Want to read it again? 2 weeks.  That's how long my child has been sleeping through the night at almost 16 months.  How do I feel about it?  Well, I wake up a few times a night to make sure the monitor is still on.  When my alarm goes off, I pick my boobs up and move them because they still haven't adjusted to the overnight sleeping.  Frankly, it hurts.  Would I change it? Absolutely not!

So my advice, to new sleep-deprived moms embarking on the journey is to ignore the advice.  Enjoy your time with your baby.  Enjoy your breastfeeding fiasco.  Enjoy the middle-of-the-night feeds with Netflix in your background for, what seems like, hours and hours and hours.  Enjoy responding to your babies cues and cries.  Enjoy the bonding that no one else can experience.  Enjoy being a mom.  After all, your baby only gets one.  You want to be the best one you can be.

Until next time!

So, since my last post, I've had the opportunity to use the Medela Lactina pump. It's in the hospital grade style so I was okay with giving it a shot. My advice to anyone who tries it? Ask for directions. I used it the first time and was completely overwhelmed! I started my hospital grade lifestyle with the Ferrari Symphony. I pushed a button and everything else worked out. The Lactina is different. You have to turn a knob and turn another thingymajig while holding the flanges up to your boobs and not letting anything fall out. Um. I... I can't! For me, I didn't even think to ask. I had the parts and figured it would all be super easy. What happened, instead, is an open sore. That's right! Somewhere in the twisting and holding, I managed to move the flange the right way to "rub me the wrong way." Ha! Get it? Rubbed me the wrong way? Okay, okay. Pun's are over. Really, though, when I got it going the way it should be, it was pretty awesome. It worked within the hospital-grade suction and my pump time was in the 10-15 minute range. Had I started with that pump instead of the Symphony, I probably would've loved it. Instead, I started with the best and switched to the, to me, mediocre. Same results within the same time. I'll take the Symphony anyday, but the Lactina is a great alternative! Ladies and gents, I'm out. Until next time!

Happy Friday night! It's been 6 days since daylight savings. I will say, at the age of 32, I officially despise the concept of daylight savings time! My schedule is screwed.  KH's schedule is screwed. It's made for some long nights and exhausting days. Seriously. Who's idea was this? Clearly it was a bachelor who has no kids anywhere. Geez... Rant. Over. 

KH is 14.5 months old. Yes, I still count. The weeks ran together due to exhaustion, exhaustion, work, exhaustion, and a little bit of exhaustion. I can do the math to calculate months. That's easy! We're still breastfeeding! It's still a new challenge everyday. I now work 5 days a week and she expects her boobs before I can put her in the truck. One day I showed up at the sitter and she was at the end of the hallway. She saw me, smiled, started her normal grunt that translates to "hi mom," ran right past me and straight to the loveseat I feed her on. She stood in front of it, hit the cushion, and grunted more. Gee, what could she want? I put her on the love seat with me and she tried to unzip my zipper. Seriously. No joke. She knows what she wants and how to get to it! 

For about 2 weeks, everytime she nursed on the left side from a side lie position, I felt her teeth. I know I've said it before and I'll gladly say it again: TEETH HURT! I made adjustments throughout the day and made it work. Bedtime was the big problem. She didn't want to sit up to nurse, she wanted to lay down! I had to bite my lip several times and suffer through it. I tried a different position every night before putting her in side lie. Finally, after days of borderline excruciating discomfort, I felt no teeth! I don't mean my nipples got use to it, I mean she readjusted her nursing style to accomodate the position she liked. Whew! That was a huge hurdle to jump and one I'm extremely glad she did. 

That's my brief insight into the current world of me breastfeeding toddler KH. Hope all is well. Until next time! 

13 months!!!! I made 13 months of breastfeeding. I can't tell you how excited I am to be able to say I hit another milestone. The challenges don't stop. My poor kid is on her 3rd virus in 4 months. Hellllloooooo sleepless nights of worry and waking up to a crying baby. I made the comment a few days ago that I felt like I had a newborn again. I was so sleep deprived I was stupid. Like, couldn't complete a sentence. I could say it in my mind but it wouldn't come out my mouth.

One major challenge with all of her current congestion is BITING. Ouch! The teeth are a new thing for her and she's not really sure what to do with them. She's so congested that she has to break her latch to catch her breath. That would be awesome if she hadn't realized that she can open her mouth and bite me to keep in the right place. She got me one day and I didn't think she was going to let go! I had to grab the back of her neck to get her to let go. Yesterday she was getting ready for bed. I laid her on her boppy, like I do every night. She giggled at me, shook her head, and bit down. She didn't even pretend to try to latch. I yelled, "Ouch!" at her and she laughed. Um, no. Mommy don't play that game! I put her in her crib and walked out of the room. She started screaming immediately. I grounded her from the boob for a minute. I've been told I need to wait a minute per year of age so a minute was all she got. I walked back in, put her back in the original position, and she ate like she was supposed to.

Everyday is a new day with her and I love them all. I hate that she's been sick, but love the great cuddles. I'm ready to see the next battle she sends me.

Until next time!

After 2 weeks of working 8-4 Monday-Friday, I feel like a whole new person. Not working 12 hour shifts makes life so much easier. KH sleeps better and is less tired. She still wakes up 1-3 times every night so not much has changed there. We hit the year mark and a weight lifted from my shoulders. Whew!!! I now only pump once a day at work. I feed her as close to drop off time as possible, pump at noon, and feed her as soon as I get to the sitter. No engorgement and I pump 4-5 ounces. Not being a slave to the pump is amazing. I look at that thing and shake in fear. Well, not really, but it's definitely a hate/hate relationship. I'm still using the Symphony hospital grade pump. Even though it's nicer than the personal pump, I still hate it.

Nursing KH is "fun" now. She's finally getting teeth and I feel them on a regular basis. She doesn't bite, per se. I think her terrible latch adjusts and causes it to happen. Plus, she gets really distracted and tries to take me with her. I don't say anything to her because she's not doing it on purpose. That doesn't mean it doesn't feel uncomfortable!

I still get asked regularly how long I'm going to keep breastfeeding. Not that it's anyone's business, but I really don't know. She still likes it, it's better for her than cow's milk, and it's free. I'm not trying to make a statement. I'm simply doing what's natural and best. Maybe I'll make a few people around me realize it's okay and not abnormal to breastfeed longer. I'm only one person, but I hate the society belief that a walking baby shouldn't be breastfeeding. We make changes one person at a time, right? Okay, okay, small rant over. I'm off to enjoy my day off with my munchkin. Until next time!

In 2 weeks my little munchkin turns a year old. Where did the time go? I'm happy to report that I have enough of a stash in my freezer that I could stop breastfeeding right now and she would not have a drop of formula!!! Woohoo! What that means is I will successfully make a year of breastfeeding. It's been the hardest, most trying time of my life. I never knew that the decision to breastfeed would lead to such a difficult journey! Do I regret anything? Absolutely not. Would I change anything? Yes. I would've gone for the hospital grade pump a little sooner. Other than that, absolutely not. KH wasn't always a healthy ox. She found her fair share of viruses and allergy induced infections. Overall, though, she's a happy, healthy, vibrant, thriving human being. It's still crazy to me to think that she is who she is because of me. I grew her for 9 months in my body, for 6 months on exclusive breastmilk, and through (almost) 12 months on mainly breastmilk with some food for fun. A friend said breastfeeding made her feel empowered and I agree. I grew a human for almost 2 years!!

The next question is: how long do I keep going? People ask me that all the time and I give them the same answer every time. I don't know. It's up to her. She's at the distractable time now so breastfeeding is often challenging. She won't stay focused long enough to get to the let down. It's frustrating to her and even moreso to me. However, she also grabs at my clothes to get to what she wants. It's fun asking her, "Want some boobs?" Her response is a giggle and a head dive into my chest. I figure I'll let her make the decision to wean.

My job continues to be absolutely amazing and very flexible. I recently applied for a "normal" position in the schools. By normal, I mean 8-4 Mon-Fri. No more 12 hour shifts!!!! In the interview for the position, I was asked about pumping and how it would apply to the job. They asked how it would be included into my day-to-day activities and if it would work out. I can't even begin to express the gratitude I've felt with my supervisors in this continued journey. I wish every woman could have the opportunity I have!

Luckily, she only has 2 1/2 teeth. She bit me once and it was when she was distracted. It was absolutely accidental. She is waaaaaay behind the grade compared to all of my friends and I am completely okay with it! She has the 1/2 tooth and another about to break through. I keep telling myself that it will be alright but I'm completely gun shy. Yikes!

I'll post again after our year mark. It's so close!!

Until next time!

A heck of a lot has happened since my last post. I was having a huge supply issue and my freezer stash was dwindling fast. I made the decision to try a supplement, Go-Lacta, to help. Did it work for me? Absolutely not! I'll throw out the disclaimer that I am not a lactation consultant or a representative of any company. Any views expressed in this blog are from my personal experience and I show no affiliation with anything. I read reviews about Go-Lacta and there were lots of positives. I made it through a month's supply with no help.

So, what now? A few of my friends had results from domperidone. It's a medication that can't be obtained easily. I made the decision to try it out and placed the order. During the wait, I decided to try Reglan. Again, I heard good things from persons in my circle. Reglan comes with a slew of side effects. A SLEW!!! I hate taking medications so those who know me will read this blog entry and drop a jaw in disbelief. When I do take medications, whether prescription or over the counter, I never experience side effects. Until Reglan. I took it for 3 days. I was only given a 7 day supply. Did it work? Yes. I went from pumping 1 3/4 oz every 3 hours to pumping 2.5. However, I had trouble staying awake. I sat at work slapping myself in the face trying to keep my eyes open. Here I am, a sleep deprived single mom with a full-time job who's already struggling to be functional, falling asleep. I stopped taking it because I couldn't work. Period. It made me a zombie! So I continued my pumping as scheduled, waiting on what I hoped to be my miracle drug.

Fast forward 3 weeks when my domperidone comes in. I've watched my freezer stash dwindle to 60ish ounces from numbers well into the 3 digits. After a week, I was pumping 3.5-5 oz per session! Woooooo!!!!!! I thought it was a fluke, somehow. I hoped it wasn't, but feared it was. After the second week, I was still producing the same amount. Recently, for the first time in months, I pumped 6 ounces. 6!!!! I thought I was going to cry out of pure joy. Actually, I did. I even took pictures of the milk bottles and sent them to a few close friends. I felt like I was finally back where I was before the curse of 12 hour shifts came into play. I only take it twice a day. It works extremely well for me and it was the best choice I could've made!

So, like I said, a lot has happened. I didn't want to make any posts until I had a result. Thankfully, after 2 or 3 momths of uncertainty, I report good news! I bid you adieu. Until next time!

After a week of using the Symphony pump, I'm addicted. I didn't pump any more than usual, but I pumped it in half the time. ZERO pain. I really wish I'd used it from the start. After speaking with my lactation consultant about the low yields, she suggested a milk transfer check. KH fed, in the middle of the day and after 3 hours of not eating, and ate 2 1/3 ounces. The obvious equivalent of what I've been pumping. Good and bad. Good: my body's responding to what it thinks she needs. Bad: she drinks from a bottle with zero effort when she's not with me and therefore eats more than that. Clearly she's eating more than I'm pumping.  Bummer. It was suggested that I start taking a supplement to help boost milk production. Enter Go-Lacta. That's what I'm tryimg at the moment. It's nutritionally based, not an herb, so it's supposed to be better for me. I'm curious to see if there will be a difference over the next few days. I pumped this morning, post-feed, and got 1.5 ounces. That's a huge difference over the few drops I was getting before. Again, like the last entry, I'll keep you posted on the outcome. Until next time!

Tomorrow starts a new journey in my life. I've had a persistent pelvic problem that I tried sweeping under the rug. It got to the point that I had to go back on light duty. I'm now working 4 10 hour shifts in a row instead of a maximum of 3 12's in a row. The problem has been pumping. The pumping was slacking and my body was hating it more than normal. So much so that I am pumping 2ish ounces per pump session. Before, when I wasn't on light duty, I could go to the house and pump. At least there I was in KH's room where I was comfortable and a little more relaxed. Now, I'm in a room I've pumped in a few times without a whole lot of success. When I pump, I squeeze, massage, push, move positions, etc., and still get 2 ounces. By the end of the day, I'm in engorgement pain. I can always feel the milk, I just can't get it out! I know it's not a supply issue. When I'm off work, KH is pretty much exclusively breastfed. We have zero problems... So, when I say I'm starting a new journey, I'm starting one with a new pump. I'm pushing the Medela Pump n Style to the curb and trying the Medela Symphony. If it works, I'm going to be renting it permanently. If it doesn't, I have to go back to the drawing board to solicit help/advice. Wish me luck! I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Topics to discuss since my last post: Sleep, Why Would I Want to Sleep, and Niplash.

So, as I mentioned in my last post, KH started sleeping. I had no clue how much I needed that extra sleep. I was a rock, determined, headstr-zzzzzzz.  Screw it, I was tired. Emotionally, physically, mentally, and any other -ly there is. I was on the verge of a breakdown and did not know because everyday was more and more exhausting. Looking back, I really don't know how I survived. Alas, here I am. She's still in her crib, although some nights it's challenging. Most nights she sleeps 6-7ish hours her first stint. Most, not all. During that time, I have me time and get 4-5 hours of sleep. Way better than the 1-2 I was getting before. There are still some nights that she's up every 1-3. Those typically occur on nights before workdays and I have to get up early. Thanks munchkin!

I'll try "Why Would I Want to Sleep" for $200, Alex. Those days!!!! Yes, we all know those days happen, but we'd like to keep them a distant blur. My story is sad. It comes with an entry of, "I did everything I know to do and just couldn't think of anything else." KH has her days. On some of her days, she takes 2, 3, or 4 naps. I have learned the more naps she takes, the better she sleeps at night. Rewind to a few days ago. She took 1 30 minute nap throughout the whole day. 1. That 1 she took was on the couch and she fought every second of iy. I did everything I knew to do.  I sang, hugged, nursed, held, rocked, walked, etc. I couldn't get her to sleep! She was exhausted. Eventually, after at least 20 minutes of screaming, she gave in and fell asleep. Then, she huffed and puffed in her sleep. I felt bad enough not being able to comfort her so that was an added negative. That night, she repeated the screaming. I was clueless. I'd done everything prior. She was rubbing her eyes, yawning, and screaming bloody murder. I ended up walking outside and letting her cry in her crib. I was done. Between the screaming during the day and the screaming at night, I needed help. Help wasn't there, so I walked away. Was it the right thing to do? Yes and no. Yes in that she finally went to sleep. No in that I was afraid I'd hurt my baby!

Special note: she has her first tooth popping through. This could very well be the problem

Let's change it up a bit. I'll have Niplash for $1600, Alex. I know I've mentioned it before, but sweet mother of pearl!!! It's become so prevalent, my nipples are as sore as the first week we started nursing. I tried telling her no. She grinned at me. I tried taking it away. She found it. I told her no. She laughed. Clearly, I needed to be more stern. I started popping her diaper when she does it and saying no. Don't get me wrong, it's not a spanking. It's very light and on the diaper only for a startle reflex. When I first started, she didn't correlate. She smiled and laughed while I was trying to be strict. It wasn't effective, so I stsrted grounding her from the boob. You want to talk about sad eyes and pouty lips?! I think, after 3 days, she's starting to figure it out. In fact, today I could feel her about to niplash me. She stopped, looked me in the eye, and kept eating. My tits say to cross your fingers for them. They're begging for mercy and wonderimg how much more they can take!

That's it for me tonight ladies and gents. Until next time!

It's a Christmas (in August) miracle!! KH has started sleeping longer stretches through the night and has (gasp) moved to her crib!!! The first night she slept next to me in bed for 7 hours straight, she woke me up numerous times kicking.  I didn't think that was all too fair, so I figured I'd try out the next night in her crib.  She either would sleep, or she wouldn't.  2 options.  Either of which, I was properly prepared for.  For 7.5 months she slept with me, waking up anywhere from ever 45 minutes to every 3 hours.  What's one night of a trial run?  She slept.... 8 hours in her first stretch in her crib!!! I was ecstatic.  Of course, you know, I woke up every 2-3 hours as my body has been trained.  I'd wake up, freak out, check the monitor to make sure it still worked, turn the volume up extra high to get the feedback to make sure it really was working, then try to get back to sleep after my minor moment of insanity.  Okay, okay, it was more a major moment of insanity.  What do you expect?  I was sleeping without her in my bed for the first time in 7 months and the first time not in my room ever!  Since then, it's been a back and forth limbo.  1 night she woke up every 3 hours like clock work.  I thought I was going to die.  It's amazing how you can follow a routine for 7 months, then after a few days of change, you have no idea what was involved in that initial routine.  We'll call that "parenting."

Anyway.  She's not sleeping all the way through the night.  She's usually up, at minimum, by 5 am to eat.  She then goes back to sleep until around 8ish.  I went from sleeping...  I just sat at the computer watching my cursor because I couldn't quantify it.  I didn't really sleep.  I was tired.  I slept walked through days.  Now, I feel like a new woman!!!

On a less exciting note, my milk stash is going away.  Sad day, sad day.  My pumping sessions have gone from 4-5 ounces per pump, to 3ish or so ounces per pump.  It's disheartening.  I still have a supply in the freezer.  I haven't counted in a while so I can't say for sure exactly how much.  I am definitely not going to have a starving child in the next day or 2.  Speaking of my kid eating, we've now tried sweet potatoes, avocado, peaches, carrots, pears, lemons, and limes. She loves to eat!  Don't get me wrong, she still loves the boob.  Nothing is going to change that right now.  However, she's an explorer.  She's gone from scooting around to crawling from one end of the room to the next in a matter of a few minutes.  My baby girl is growing up so fast!!! Slow down time!!!  I guess that's what's supposed to happen.  Babies grow, mom's get sleep, blogs get written... Well, maybe that last part is unique in and of itself.

Texas heat has caused a bad reaction on me.  I'm exhausted.  I'm going to have to end on that note and head to the sack.  G'night all.  Until next time!

How did no one warn me about fingernails?  Holy cow those things hurt! Everything's all good and well in feeding land until she starts squeezing.  Then, as I sit there cringing, I wonder how quickly I can get to the clippers.  On the other side of the room.  On the dresser.  Do you know how long that takes?  Then, you grab the clippers and have to keep the 7 month old distracted long enough to clip 1 nail.  10 is out of the question in one sitting.  1 nail at a time over a 48 hour time frame to keep them from causing extreme agony over and over again. Who would've thought something so minute would cause so much difficulty?

Also, I'm getting kicked in the face, jaw, neck, forearm, hand, etc. while breastfeeding. It's becoming an every time occurrence. KH is a mover and a shaker.  When I look at the growth expectancies and where they should be developmentally, she's always one step ahead.  I blame that giganto head of hers that's so full of brains.  Anyway, breastfeeding is becoming a fun act.

Tonight, while doing the night feed, she decided she would start niplashing all over again.  I'm pretty sure I've talked about niplash in a prior blog.  It happens when she's feeding as normal, then all of a sudden turns her head, taking my nipple with her and breaking the latch in a loud smack.  Doah!.  Anyway, I'm trying to figure out how to combat this particular instance.  During this feed, she would be eating fine.  Eyes closing, hands open in normal position, awesome latch.  Then all of a sudden, boom!  She jerks her head, niplashing.  The first time I thought she saw/heard something out of the ordinary.  However, she latched right back on.  Less than 2 seconds elapsed.  All was going well and after about 2 minutes, BAM! Niplash again!  Same scenario, less than 2 seconds and she was back on.  For anyone reading this who has never experienced niplash, it's not pleasant.  Painful is a decent explanation, but not quite the perfect one.  I decided to take it away from her.  I said, "Ow," as I usually do when she does something while eating that causes me pain.  No effect.  After a few more minutes, she did it again.  I tried taking it away.  I said, "Ow," picked her up, and put her on my shoulder.  She cried and cried and cried.  After about a minute (seemed like 5), I let her back on.  Within a minute, same thing.  Son of a &^^%&*($!!!  So, I switched boobs, thinking that may help.  Nope.  Not. One. Bit.  She kept doing it over and over again, no matter how many times I took it away.  This all occurs on the Boppy pillow. I took her to her normal co-sleeping place and she had no problems.  In less than 10 minutes, she was asleep.

Whoever said breastfeeding is easy was, in my opinion, a joke.  No part of this has been easy.  It's been awesome, don't get me wrong, but very difficult.  I know we'll overcome this hurdle.  I just have to figure out how.  I'll let ya know when I get there.

Completely unrelated, I went to the Great Texas Balloon Race this past weekend.  Completely awesome!!!  Here's a bit of what I saw.  Hope you enjoy this completely unrelated photo op.  Until next time!

Know what's awesome about parenting? Everything! It's always a new surprise. KH has started waking up "for good" between 6 & 7 on my days off. I blame having to wake her up at 515ish on my work days. Anyway, I've battled this by moving her from my bed to her crib. I leave the monitor on so I can hear her. So far, it's given me at least 2 hours of extra sleep per try. Saturday morning, I was supposed to be at work at 11. KH decided she wanted to wake up at 6. I said no thanks. Put her in her crib and went back to sleep. My alarm went off at 845 and I was shocked! Almost 3 hours of extra sleep! I hopped in the shower, got dressed, then went to check on her. Huh. Much to my, um, surprise(?) she was laying on her stomach asleep. In poo. That had clearly been there a while. Crap. Literally. I have to be at work soon. I don't have time for this! Baby wipes. Those must be able to do the trick. I laid her on the changing table and one, two, four, six wipes later... I'm still finding poo and she smells atrocious. I text my supervisor. A poop party, not my own, has happened. May be late to work. I text the sitter for the day: "Poo party. Haven't even thought about leaving the house." Luckily that came with an offer to come pick her up. Yes, please!!! It was so nasty. I swear she managed to get it in the neck fat rolls! Sitter picked her up, I got to work on time, whew!

Another thing: I got kicked in the face yesterday by KH. While she was breastfeeding. Yep, I'm watching her eat and smiling along as usual when, "WHAM!" Right in the face! Or as Peter Griffin would say, "Pow, right in the kisser. Pow, right in the kisser. Pow, right in the kisser."

I'm determined my kid's first word will be "boobie." When it is, I will laugh. Hysterically. Thereby, hopefully, causing her to repeat it over and over again. Awesome parenting skills! I have my reasons. I'll mention further at a later date. Until next time!

The verdict is: KH was up to 17 pounds 11 ounces and 71st percentile!!! Holy moly when did my kid get so big? Breast milk is best milk for nutrition. She got her vaccines at the appointment and for the second time, she spiked a fever. The first time was the first round. She had no issues with the second round. This makes me think back to what was done. The only consistency is the Rota Virus vaccine. Is that the cause? I have no idea. I'm not a doctor or a medical professional of any sort. However, it very well could be a possibility. Her fever was never super high. I took it twice during the day and both times it sat at 100.5 degrees. I used the feel method the rest of the time to know she was still warm. Of course the cuddles were a great indicator. Man I loved spending that day with her. It sucked that she felt bad, but for the first time in a while, she fell asleep on my shoulder. She's growing up so fast and I try to savor every opportunity I can.

My pump routine on days off has always been: once in the morning after the morning feed and no more. I hate pumping, I've said this numerous times. So I stopped pumping on days off altogether. My life is so much nicer without that extra nuisance! My stash of milk has stayed pretty solid at 300ish ounces. I'm starting the slow introduction of solid foods so occasionally I pump for fresh milk to use. Mostly, I just don't.

Work is still being amazing with me and my pumping. I'm going to have to reduce my pumping by a session before too long. I just don't know when yet. I'm not ready yet.

Time's up for now. Until next time!

Distracted breastfeeding has become more fun as the days go by.  It's a regular occurrence to "catch" KH if she's eating on the Boppy.  She arches her back, turns her head (nipple included), and looks around.  She's also become amazingly awesome at kicking me so I can't hold her on.  I was feeding her at the lactation consultant's shop earlier this week.  There was a newer mom in the room with me who was also feeding her baby.  She watched KH flip and flop, tuck and roll, and make quick rapid movements.  I swear that poor mom's eyes doubled in size and her jaw dropped.  "I thought this was supposed to get easier!"  Oh honey, don't worry.  It gets easier.  Then it gets interesting.  She's more efficient than she used to be so an average breastfeeding session, compared to 2 months ago, takes a few minutes less. If I could keep her focused, it'd be super quick!  I wonder if I could figure out a way to let her watch tv or something along those lines.  Then again, she's a big fan of grabbing her feet and pulling them with her so maybe that wouldn't work either.  Meh, hogwash!

We still have no teeth.  Thank goodness! I feel around on her bottom gums everyday to make sure I am not about to fall victim to a chomp.  I'm afraid.  Very, very afraid!

Next week is our 6 month (and 2 week) checkup.  I'm super excited to see where she falls on the chart in percentiles.  Remember, we started at 25% in weight and last check were up to 56%.  We shall see!  She enjoys eating food which is exciting, yet sad.  I love breastfeeding.  Introducing food means a reduction in the amount she eats straight from me.  My kiddo's growing up.... I'm happy in that she's happy and completely in line developmentally.  I'm sad at the fact she's not so much my little baby anymore.  Moms, if I even needed to say it, take lots of pictures!!!  KH's hair is getting long to the point of not being able to wear headbands with bows.  I'm still doing it, just not as often.  Another sign of growing up.  Oh well, this little stage will pass and soon she'll let me put clips in her hair.  I sure hope so, anyway.  I've had a few sleepless nights, thanks to my kiddo, so I'm going to head to the sack.  Here's a picture of KH that I took a week and a half ago.  Until next time!