Howdy! Welcome to my blog. I'll start off with a little history. On May 6th, 2013 my life completely changed. That was the day I found out my birth control failed me. I was 3-4 weeks along and not involved with the dad in anything more than a "buddy" relationship. Crap. At 30 years of age I was in a place I'd never expected to be. Abortion and adoption were never an option. I had been employed almost 6 years at the time as a Police Officer. I make a decent amount of money and I have great benefits. So here we go.

Pregnancy sucked. I knew a little bit through friends and family, but you know what they say: No 2 pregnancies are alike. I was a Patrol Officer and my duties included taking calls for service (thefts, burglaries, disturbances, suspicious activity, etc.) and making traffic stops. I had "morning" sickness that started 2 hours after I woke up and lasted until I went to bed. I was constantly nauseous. Taco Bell is about the only food I could eat and even it was tough to get down. The area of town I worked was run down and the streets are terrible. Everyday felt like seasickness on a cruise ship. I took every report I could so I could sit and not have to drive. At the end of the first trimester, I was pushed to desk duty. I went from the high pace excitement of overnight patrol to the ever-so-slow 8-5 job. Blah blah blah, nothing to really talk about there. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. My desk at work was practically a buffet. Open the drawer and find any snack you could imagine! As long as it was low carb and low sugar, that is. When it was all said and done, I gained 22 pounds in my pregnancy and was told numerous times I didn't look full term. Woohoo!! I had developed an attachment to the alien in my belly and I was ready to meet her.


On December 30th, 2013 at 0230 hours, my water broke. I was 38 weeks and 3 days along. At 1739 hours that evening, I vaginally delivered a beautiful 7lb 8oz baby girl. My life changed forever the second she was put in my arms. I'd read the books and heard the tales but never knew what to expect. I instantly fell in love. I had said from the start I wanted to breastfeed. It was even in my birth plan to feed her before she went to the nursery, which I did. I probably should have read a little about breastfeeding. The advice I'd been given was to make it 3 weeks. 3 weeks? It's breastfeeding. Women have been doing it forever. How hard can it be, right? Boy was I wrong!

My daughter, KH, didn't have the best time latching on. She had jaundice, as do most babies, and I was told feeding would help to get rid of it. My milk took forever to come in and she kept losing weight while becoming more yellow. Enter the emotional single mom who can't produce enough to adequately provide for her daughter. Her bilirubin levels were so high at the follow-up doctor's visit that we were readmitted for UV treatment. We were there for 2 more nights. My milk finally came in. I was pressured by the nursing staff to supplement with formula to get everything moving. However, I'd heard tales of babies trying formula and preferring it to breast milk so I didn't want to do that. My pediatrician is very pro-breastfeeding and allowed me to get through it with my milk. We went back for our 2 week check up. Doc said she expected KH to be back at her birth weight. She was 10 oz under. Re-enter the emotional single mom who can't produce enough to adequately provide for her daughter. My doc still didn't push formula on me. She asked about our feedings and it all sounded good. She mentioned a lactation consultant and said to schedule another appt for a weight check. I tried breastfeeding without a lactation consultant for a few more days. A friend of mine had a baby girl 7 days before me. She also had problems with breastfeeding and called on a lactation consultant. She raved about how awesome she was and how much it put her mind at ease. I decided to put my tears and bull-headed theories aside and call. That was the best thing I could've ever done!

Our first appointment with Shannon was a definite eye opener. She pointed out several things that I never noticed. We did a weight check on KH. We weighed her naked for a baseline, fed her from one boob, weighed her, then I pumped. We did the same on the other boob. What we found is that I had a content starver. My body was producing enough milk for her but due to trauma from birth, she was exhausting herself prior to emptying the breast. She was happy as she could be eating until she wasn't hungry instead of eating until she was full. Whew! It wasn't my body not producing! I was put on a feed/pump regimen and told to supplement her with a bottle of expressed milk after her breast feeds. The next time I went to the doctor she had rebounded to her delivery weight and we were in the clear. Whoop!

That's the start of my journey. I have had numerous battles including marathon feeds (sometimes 2-3 hours at a time), painful feeds due to inadequate latch, reflux in KH causing me to take all dairy out of my diet, and being a human pacifier. Needless to say, if I didn't have so much time off work to devote to her, I probably would've given up. Shannon told me I need to have a hefty supply of milk saved up since I work 12 hour shifts. I currently have 60 ounces in the freezer so hopefully that's a good start. I decided to start the blog after Shannon told me she hadn't read about, heard about, or been asked about the situations I will encounter when returning to work. One of the things I love about my job is the unpredictability. You could stumble upon something and be stuck for 8 hours. Problem. If I have to pump every 2-3 hours, how do I get away? Also, the bullet proof vest. #1, is it going to fit my much larger boobs, and #2, is it going to hurt like Hell and cause clogged ducts? There are numerous issues and concerns I've had up until this point. The beauty is I get to start back to work in a week and answer all those questions! Sorry for the long intro. I felt it was all necessary to fully understand the battles I've already overcome and the battles I have yet to face.