34 months! That was our final breastfeeding date. I made a plan to make it 3 weeks. We made it 34 months! Do you know what that means? We made it past most people's comfort zone. 2 months shy of 3 years is a long time! Woohoo! We survived custody issues and many nights away from each other, but we made it!

Know what else we survived? My leaving law enforcement. I said that having the munchkin wouldn't change me and I made a point for it to not be so. It didn't happen. I wanted to help everyone. Even in the schools, I wanted to take every kid home.

I went back to patrol. The first dead person made me question everything. I was no longer the hard core patrol officer I once was. I was a mom. I cried for the family. I cried knowing the deceased wouldn't affect another life. I cried. I picked up my kiddo and tried to be happy, but I cried. I got mad at her because I had a crappy day and she didn't understand why. I cried more. I realized the reason wasn't she or I. It was the job. At that point, I decided it was time to walk away.

 KH is my life, and the person my job made me was not the person I wanted her to know. I know this blog was about breastfeeding cops and the support that goes along with it, but I realized there was so much more. I don't discourage moms from being Police Officers. I'm very proud of the profession I chose and the lives I impacted. I fully support mommy Police Officers and think about you every day.  I simply couldn't do it anymore.

It took me 6 months after leaving the job to not see a dead person when I closed my eyes at night. I fully support Police Officers and will to the day I die. Why? Because I was one. I loved my job. When it got to the point it effected my family, I walked away. So here is my final blog post. I have a happy, healthy life. I love my daughter. I'm jaded at times, but I'm good now. I fully support public servants in every field. Police, Fire, EMT, military, volunteers... We are one in the same. If you find yourself in a not-so-fun situation, message me. I'll even give you my number so we can talk. We are a brother/sisterhood and we stand by each other!

Until next time...

It's been 5 months since my last post. Life on the breastfeeding end, and the work end, have been easy. Thanks to my custody agreement, KH spends a night a week away from me. She asks for her "booboos" regularly. I've had to pick and choose when I allow her to breastfeed. Without a doubt, when she wakes up and when she goes to bed are 2 times that are a given. The other times I breastfeed her are when I pick her up from the sitter after being away from me overnight, when she doesn't feel well, and some naptimes when I need to calm her down to go to sleep. There have been a few random fever days where she asks to breastfeed 4-5 times a day. Obviously the health benefits are greater than the idea of weaning so I let her do it. At this point, she's 26 months. I know she needs to wean at some point, but I don't know when that will be.

We're potty training now which is going very well. We also spend a lot of time outside playing.

She had a stomach bug recently and vomitted everything she ate for dinner. She asked for her boobies and I told her no. Her stomach was sour so I didn't want to throw milk on it. I told her we could rock instead and, within 3 minutes, she was out cold! It was sad, because we nurse before bed. That was the first time I got her to sleep without it.

Potty training also adds to my thought that she's getting older. I don't want my baby to grow up! Yet, it's part of the process. She's 26 months and in the 95th and 96th percentile in height and weight. She's big for her age and a lot of people mistake her for someone older. She nurses for nutrition and comfort. Recently, I believe it's more for comfort. It's an opportunity for she and I to be as close as mommy and baby can be. Hopefully soon I'll be able to write a post on how to wean. Well, soon-ish. It will happen when it does. I'll let you know!

Until next time!